Thursday, 15 November 2012

Thickening the skin.

Today I've let things get under my skin, and thanks to my mum, I know now that sometimes I really need to just let things go.

Weddings are stressful, that can be said without any sense of doubt. My fiancé and I get married in five months time, and whilst I should have been feeling excited and vibrant, I've let any negative effect me, and today I've been told that's not right. And it's true - I'm young, I'm in love, and I believe in romance. I should take the time to enjoy this process of planning. A wedding is just one day, and yes, it's important, of course, but what's more important is the bit that follows - the marriage. And whilst I know this deep down, my head has been so buzzy recently, with every possible 'what if' keeping me awake at night and taking the shine off my excitement.

After having a bit of a heart to heart with mum, I've learnt that I need to stop this. She acknowledged I can't help things repeating over and over in my head, it's why I have my mental health issues. But why stress? Why am I putting myself through these unnecessary doubts? At the end of the day, who cares about what any Tom, Dick or Harry thinks? If we are happy as a couple, nothing else should matter. It's time we learnt as a couple to say 'no' and to make our mark.

Nothing is ever that simple though, and I am sure that anyone who has gone through the process of planning a wedding can vouch for me on that. This day is for your family also, it's about them being happy, and comfortable and watching their children grow up and make such a big commitment. In the back of my mind, there always seems to be 'what if so and so is upset?' or 'what about if someone is offended by that?' and it's driving me crazy. Hearing mum today being honest and blunt was what I needed. No one else really matters on that day except me and my other half. Our family and friends should want to be there and watch us say our vows, not arguing with one another or turning their noses up at the centrepieces.

So today I've decided it's time to wake up. It's time to thicken my skin, and not let the most random of things bother me. I need to learn to stand back from a situation before jumping to conclusions and panicking. The most important parts of my life are with me and support me and love me unconditionally and that's all I really need to care about.

Mark my words, things are going to be changing round here!